Pregnancy Essentials

So.  In case you other 5 readers who aren't related to me haven't caught on yet, I, one of your esteemed blog authors, am pregnant.  Very pregnant.  In fact, my due date was last Tuesday.  And so far, no action on the labor front.  Such is pregnancy, I guess.  But as I not-so-patiently wait for my pregnancy to come to an end (which it surely must, right??), I've thought back to a few things that have really helped my body cope with the never-ending changes of pregnancy.  Now, seeing as this is my first, maybe these are all obvious to some of you more experienced mothers out there, but hopefully some of the things on my list will help make pregnancy a little more comfortable for someone.  Especially when you are 49 weeks pregnant... like me.

1. L'Occitane Verbena Foaming Bath Knowing my affinity for baths as well as all things lemon flavored/scented, my sweet husband got me this bath gel for Christmas.  And while I'm sure that he had a little help from the saleswoman at the beauty store, it was the perfect gift because oh.my.gosh. this stuff smells like heaven.  Seriously.  As it turned out, I have had to deal with really bad RLS this last trimester, and pretty much the only thing that calms my muscles and helps me sleep is a warm bath before bed, and this bath gel just makes those baths that much more enjoyable.  

2. Nike Free Run+ Now, I know people are pretty particular about their running shoes, especially if you run a lot, and I can't attest to these being amazing running shoes yet, because well, I haven't had a chance to actually run in them yet.  But I can tell you, these are the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn.  They have some crazy technology where they bend with your foot a lot while still providing a lot of support, and with all the cushioning they feel sort of like slippers.  I've taken to wearing them everywhere, especially during the last couple weeks when I can't stand wearing my other shoes for more than 10 minutes.  And I've definitely given them some major mileage the past few days with all the walking I've been doing in trying to get this baby out.  

3. Burt's Bees Beeswax Lip Balm Ahhh... who doesn't love Burt's?  I've been a dedicated fan for many years, and it's safe to say I'm a tad bit snobbish towards other chap-sticks.  I'm also a tad bit obsessed with Burt's (just the classic minty lib balm variety, not the tinted balm or lipgloss or anything else) - I always keep one in my car, on my nightstand, and in my purse at all times.  And people didn't tell me how much I would need chap-stick during pregnancy - my lips are constantly chapped.  And since I live quite literally at sea-level, I'm not chalking it up to "dry winter air".  Anyways, I heart Burt's Bees.  Pregnant or not. 

4. Exercise Ball This isn't actually the one I have, I just chose this one for it's pretty pink color.  But many are the benefits of a large exercise ball like this one for pregnant women.  Definitely more comfortable than sitting on a chair or even the couch, my exercise ball has provided me a lot of relief during my entire pregnancy, and is also great for laboring mothers (or so I hear).  Just google "exercise ball and pregnancy" and you'll find lots about how great they are.  The size of the one you get depends on your height, but I think for average-height women you want one that is 65cm.  

5.  Microwavable Heating Pad  A heating pad has been so great for the little aches and pains of muscles during pregnancy, and again, is supposed to be great during labor, too.  You can find them lots of places, but seriously, they are so easy to make and way cheaper to do it that way.  I made mine and they are pretty hard to screw up, but if you have a sewing phobia (*ahem* Lindsay and Carly), they also sell cute ones in lots of places on the interent.  This one is from Etsy.  Another fun fact - you can put them in the freezer and use them as a cold-pack, too.  

So there you have it!  Some pregnancy essentials I'm sure glad I had during this pregnancy.  Now, let's hear what you couldn't live without during your pregnancy - I'm curious to know.  Also, I need to have something fun to read to distract me from dwelling on the absence of my labor.  So let's hear it, people - what did you love during pregnancy?  

Miscarriage Support

For some reason, miscarriage tends to be a taboo subject.  I’m not sure why, when it is far more common than one might think.  Perhaps as women we tend to feel as if our bodies have failed us and to have every one aware of that fact would be too much of a burden to carry.
For those women who have not experienced the loss of a pregnancy it helps to know how to support those who have, what to say, what not say and how to ease their pain.

*I realize every woman is different, and what has helped me may not be helpful to someone else so I can’t speak for every woman everywhere.* 

As someone who has experienced three different types of losses in the past year (early miscarriage at 7 weeks, an ectopic and a missed miscarriage at 14 weeks) I wanted to express what has helped ease my pain in hopes that it will help others.  Now, most women miscarry very early on in their pregnancy at a time when others aren’t even aware the woman was pregnant and it’s difficult to support in those circumstances.  But if you ARE aware, here are a few tips.
1. Acknowledge the loss, NO MATTER HOW EARLY IT WAS.  A pregnancy is a pregnancy, the potential for a baby and a forever altered future and it hurts immensely when all those hopes are dashed, whether it be at 5 weeks or 10 weeks.
2. Do not tell them, “It’s for the best.” Even if you have the greatest of intentions, those words are like a slap in the face.  It’s never “best” for a woman to lose a baby she so badly wanted.
3.  Use your judgment and continue to ask how they are feeling about the loss even weeks later.  Most people will forget or start ignoring the woman’s loss after a couple weeks.  But no woman who has experienced it will forget. Ever.
4. Depending on your relationship, if you feel comfortable, send them a note or a treat.  Express your deepest sorrow and let them know you are there whenever they need you.  I cannot tell you how much these acts of kindness have saved me and how they lifted my spirits.  It meant the world to me, even if it took them five minutes out of their day.
5. Do not tell them, “Well it’s really common.” For some reason, this sentiment made my losses feel insignificant, as if they don’t matter.  Every loss is as important as the woman feels it is. Gauge their tone and match your sympathy to their feelings.
6. Hug them.  Even if they aren’t huggers. 
7. Emails, texts and phone calls are invaluable when you are not in close proximity.
8. Even though I know those who say this are only trying to make me feel better about the situation, the saying, “It wasn’t in God’s plan” or something similar just makes it hurt all the more.  God doesn’t want me to have another child?  Am I not doing a good job with the children I already have?  Or if the woman who doesn’t have children at all, can you imagine how much it would tear down her self esteem? God doesn’t want her to be a mother?  And I know this isn’t the intention of the sympathizers but those are the thoughts that run through our heads.  If you bring up the subject of God or Heavenly Father, only tell them how much He loves them and is aware of their pain.  That’s all that needs to be said.
9. Depending on the relationship, tell them you love them.
10.  Take them out for dinner or a pedicure.  Plan a girls’ night out, anything to take their mind off the pain.  But don’t sidestep the issue, ask them how they are feeling and if they want to talk about it, they will.

These are only a few things I thought of that have helped me in my emotional recovery and I hope that those who read this can help a friend or a family member find her way out of the heartache caused by a miscarriage.

Pregnancy Fashion, 1st Trimester

Pregnancy.  It's a funny thing.  It can make you feel happy, overjoyed, delighted, and can even make you glow.  But even if you have a blissfully easy pregnancy (you lucky ducks, you), I'm sure at some point or another during a pregnancy, every woman feels not quite like herself.  And I'm putting that lightly, because really I mean that every woman feels like a chubby, round, dare-i-say-fat former version of herself.  


Now, as this is my first time being in the family way, I can't say that I know from experience of numerous pregnancies.  I have yet to make it through the second half of my first one.  However, I think it's safe to say that the first trimester can be a rough one for any woman's self-esteem.  Putting aside the fact that as pregnant women we have to deal with fun things like morning sickness, nausea, and exhaustion, among other things, and especially during the first trimester, we also deal with our bodies looking not quite so svelte as they did before.  We get bloated and feel heavy, and then eventually your stomach doesn't go back to those washboard abs Jillian Michaels kicked your butt so hard for.  Add that to the fact that maybe you're waiting a while to share the news, and people around you may start assuming you've indulged in the cupcake craze a little too enthusiastically.  All in all, us preggos can get feeling pretty down about ourselves.  


But alas, there is a cure for these first trimester doldrums.  Well, maybe not a cure, but something to pick up your spirits: pregnancy friendly clothes!  Nothing adds the cherry on top of your I'm-feeling-fat stage than that fateful day when you just can't button your jeans anymore.  But, after the emotional breakdown over you've got nothing to wear that you're entitled to, buck-up and embrace that you now have every right to wear comfy, stretchy, and forgiving clothing for the rest of those 9 months.  But, as much as I would love to sit around in my sweats all day, eventually we've all got to take that shower and get out of the house.  And so, I've compiled a list of first trimester friendly articles of clothing that don't qualify as pajamas.  Things you can wear once your regular clothes don't fit, but long before you've got to hop into maternity jeans.  However, there is a disclaimer: these things are, in my opinion, fashionable options, but take into account I am an early-twenties white pregnant person, and they may not work for everyone.  Or you may not like them.  That's okay, feel free to branch out.  


1. First and foremost, leggings.  Some might question the leggings-as-pants trend, but what the heck, I like it.  And it is a great thing for pregnant people.  There are enough styles out there that you can find ones you're comfortable wearing, whether they be thinner ones under a dress or a long shirt, or thicker ones that are more just like stretchy pants.  

1. BDG Long Legging $9.99 (on sale) from Urban Outfitters 2. Stretch Knit Leggings $19.50 from the Gap 3. Military Pixie Pant $88 from J. Crew 3. Ankle Zipper Knit Legging $39.50 from Banana Republic

2. Flowy Shirts.  You don't want to go too extreme here, and have people think you're 8 months pregnant instead of 8 weeks, but you want to go for the shirt that is not too-structured or too-tight.  One that has just enough fabric leeway to obscure any not-so-bodacious curves you've got going on.  

1. Frothy Top $19.95 (on sale) from Anthropologie 2. LEFT COAST by dolan Layered Hoodie Tee $62 on Revolve Clothing 3. Sea Stripes Tee $45 from Madewell 4. Women's Flutter-Sleeve Knit Tops $16.50 from Old Navy

3. Cardigans.  Essential for any wardrobe, pregnant or not, cardigans are a pregnant woman's friend.  They are comfortable and versatile - worn buttoned, unbuttoned, belted, over a tank or t-shirt, long or cropped, and simple or detailed, they add instant chicness to just about any outfit.  I hear they are also convenient for nursing moms - covering up any accidental leakage :).  Just do yourself a favor and stay away from the granny-ish sweater sets - that's just a good cardigan gone to waste.  

1. Heather traversa cardigan $59.99 (on sale) from J. Crew 2. Lightweight Long Cardigan $24.99 (on sale) from The Gap 3. Women's Striped V-neck Cardigans $26.50 (on sale) from Old Navy 4. Charter Club Cardigan $29.99 (on sale) from Macy's


So there you have it.  Just a few wardrobe basics that will make first trimester mom-to-be's feel cute, comfortable, and just downright pretty.  Or at least until the next time that beloved morning sickness hits, and you're spending the day hunched over the porcelain throne.  Nobody feels pretty then.  Can you tell my first trimester was awesome? So the next time you find yourself with child, remember that a new outfit can brighten just about any girls day.